A strange and wonderful thing happened to me recently. My memory has gotten really unreliable. Making short term memories requires a great deal of effort, and I can;t count on it much. Extensive use of notes and other reminding tools has become my way of putting one foot in front of the other and going about the day.I explained some of the the things that have been going on to one of my doctors(after requesting a referral to be tested for Alzheimer’s disease.After hearing some of what’s been happening she agreed to write the letter needed to get an appointment. Later that day, i realized that if she thought the test was unnecessary she would have said so. Needless to say it was a rough several hours as I grappled with the question of what a a steadily declining mental capacity would mean. and then…..and then….somewhere in the hours my hair caught on fire and all values and learning kicked in….drive kicked in, motivation kicked in….deciding to live each moment as best i could , as fully, and as aware as i could kicked in….accomplishing the small things that i could kicked in. Every day since then I wake up ready to go, middle finger in the air to idea of giving up ahead of time.
How glorious…you have no idea what a gift this has been. Alive!And no matter what the test reveals, i still have this day to live in, moment by moment.When the body/mind knows something,it can only be unlearned by deterioration of the body/mind.At the changing of the seasons, aren’t the autumn colors exhilirating!

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